Marcella’s Legacy
The last words Marcella uttered, written down by our Rabbi, were delivered to the Western Wall of the Temple in Jerusalem, traditionally a portal to reach God with prayerful wishes:
“Please, Hashem (‘God’), I want my body, my brain, my existence to be useful beyond my physical presence on this Earth.”
(Excerpted from her father’s eulogy. Marcella went by many names: Marc, Moose, and Ella among them.)
Marcella had a beautiful, bountiful heart that was just too big for her young body to contain, and too disproportionate — too unmatchable — to her age as measured in years. Ultimately, it seems her spiritual force was just too big for this world.
Likewise, Ella’s mind was so expansive, analytical, creative, and hungry for vast and wide-ranging knowledge and ideas that her brain couldn’t contain it all, couldn’t keep up with the prodigious demand. And her one-of-a-kind brain cancer was both literally and metaphorically a dramatic and ironic effort to grow an extra brain — to experience the world on every metaphysical level. That was how driven she was to understand and solve the problems facing humanity, and to blunt the threats to our delicate balance of Earth’s natural rhythms, its destiny, and God’s plan.
Marc’s mind was urgently and voraciously in search of information and challenges. She once told me, “I play Cribbage against myself in my mind,” and, “I read books to myself that I write in my brain.” Ella was very quick-witted and self-deprecating, too — proudly recounting to me how she replied when someone told her she was glowing: “Well, I’d better be, after all the radiation I’ve been exposed to!”
She told me she experienced Mirror Touch Synesthesia, whereby she could mirror sensations she would see and then experience them as emotional and physical touch — feeling pain, to an extent, after seeing someone get hurt. She was an empath with 360-degree radar, picking up signals from animals, nature, and humans alike. Black, green, blue, rainbow-striped, big, small, broken — every life mattered equally in her view of the world, which others saw only through a tribal and human-centric bias.
In states of delirium in the hospital, she would switch between speaking Hebrew, Chinese, and English. And yet she was kind, courteous, and grateful to the very end, always saying please and thank you.
As a parent having endured so much vicarious suffering for your child, you realize you are finally facing the abyss when you no longer need to consider whether it is better for your child to live or die. But before we were forced to make that final choice, Ella took charge and determined the manner and time of her exit from this mortal state. With her final ounce of strength, she herself removed the BiPAP nasal mask that delivered pressurized oxygen.
Through it all, she never once asked, “Why me?” — because she instinctively knew the answer was, “Why not me?” She felt that if anyone could handle the immense pressure of a life-threatening illness, she was the one up to the task. Exceptional and singular as she was, she refused to give breath to the arrogance of exceptionalism.
You don’t expect your kids to teach you such profound lessons so early in life. Nobody thinks that such wisdom, insightfulness, growth, and perspective will flow from a 17-year-old, or from a 21-year-old prevented from even attending college. You expect to be the one teaching your children well into their young adult lives. But this was Marcella — an activist-pacifist, a contradiction, a constructive force of nature destroying societal convention and norms in search of social and environmental justice.
If Marc was only a brilliant old soul — it would have been enough. Dayeinu.
If Marc was only a beautiful, precociously compassionate Jewish scholar — dayeinu.
If Marc was only an EMT by age 16 — dayeinu.
If Marc was only a master forager — dayeinu.
If Marc was only a black belt in Mixed Martial Arts — dayeinu.
If Marc was only gifted at chanting Torah with the power and expertise achieved over a full lifetime — dayeinu.
The full list is too long to grasp.
And so was her suffering. And therefore she decided — dayeinu.
And so, my ask to you today is this:
We ask each one of you to commit to planting a seed from Marcella’s soul, and to let us know as often as possible how that seed is flourishing — what impact it has on the world. It could be as small as picking up a piece of trash or making an extra effort to recycle. Whatever act of Tikkun Olam (repair of the world) — challenge yourself, push yourself just a little further in honor of Ella’s unfinished work on this Earth. Tell us how Marcella’s ethos of kindness, compassion, and positive energy inspired you to say an extra “thank you,” “please,” or “I appreciate you” — and how it made you feel her presence or spread her impactful energy. That is the highest honor we could give her: to carry on making this world a better place.
This world wasn’t big enough to contain Marcella, but maybe, with your help, the universe will give her a second chance, and enough space and time to reach her sacred, admirable goals. Amen.
May the Almighty force of the universe, full of compassion, Who dwells on high, grant true rest upon the wings of the Divine Presence, in the exalted spheres of the holy and pure, who shine as the resplendence of the firmament, to the soul of Raizele Etta bat Ruth v’Yehonatan, who has transitioned to the cosmic ether and energy of the universe. For charity has been donated in remembrance of her mortal being and in honor of her impact on our lives; may her place of rest be in Gan Eden. Therefore, may the All-Merciful One shelter Marc with the cover of blessings forever, and weave their soulful essence into the fabric of our lives. Hashem is their heritage; may their lifeforce give us all meaning from their resting place, inspiring peace and tranquility, transformation, understanding, appreciation, and acts of Tikkun Olam. And let us say: Amen.
Our Donation Story
This was Marcella’s decision, to help others, to make her tragic suffering meaningful. As an EMT by the age of 16, she made sure that her parents licenses indicated